Gilligan's Alien Invader
by Dabbled-at-Euchre
Summary: Summary-Gilligan warns the other castaways of an alien attack. When they don't believe him he has to take matters into his own hands. Set about a month after season 3 ends.
1. Chapter 1-Gilligan Is Warned

Gilligan walked cheerfully to get some berries for tonight's dessert. He whistled and his chimpanzee friend Gladys walked near him. Suddenly he stopped and looked. "Strange. I never noticed that shiny metal shape on the side of the volcano. And it's hard to tell from this far away but it looks almost as big as a pick-up truck."

He looked again "I know why I never noticed it. It wasn't there before." He paused then gulped "It wasn't there before! I'd better get the professor!"

But as he turned a strange unhuman voice called out "EARTHLING WAIT!"

He turned. Not too far away a squat orange and blue striped figure stood two and a half feet tall (about three fourths of a meter.) The shape had one head, one torso, two legs and four tentacles. As Gilligan turned to bolt the voice said "Afraid not be. Come I war in."

He calmed down a bit. English was a hard enough language for Earth foreigners, much less Martians. He said "You mean you come in peace."

"Negative. Come I war in. Later. First talk truce in."

"OK."

"I Voxx Midranked Private Rollian Army of."

"I Gilligan First Mate S. S. Minnow of. But our ship ran aground and we're stranded here. Are you stranded here too?"

"Invading the Earth. My people thinking of"

Gilligan gulped.

Voxx continued. "But ourselves test we."

"A math test?"

"Prediction make our strategists. When first strike after, advantage of surprise also after. Know capabilities of the weapons we with. And seven surviving Earthlings each one of us for."

Gilligan tried to bluff. "Well obviously you can't win then. Better luck invading the moon or perhaps the sun." After a pause he asked "Can your army survive in the sun?"

"Peace party want stay home at. War party want invade here."

"Tough call. Do your people vote, flip a coin or just go into your pods until you all decide together."

"Test we. Our most average middle ranked private humans against. Earthlings seven isolated completely. Advantage of surprise compromised. Afternoon of day next."

He paused. Gilligan noticed the alien had four silver colored antenna that were shaking.

"Your antennas are acting up. Are you okay Mid ranked Private Voxx?"

"Giggling. How do my species it."

"What's so funny?"

"And I then attack!" The antennas really began to shake. "Trust me. Funny that very."

Gilligan asked "So why tell me?"

"Isolated are you this Island on?"

"Pretty much."

"Number you how many here?"

He began to count on his fingers. "Well, there's the Skipper and the Professor and Mr. and Mrs. Howell and Ginger and Mary Ann." He let out a sigh of relief. "That's only six."

"Gilligan mate first. Did count him you?"

He thought. "No, forgot to count him me."

"Move finger another."

He extended another finger.

"Fingers-many how?" asked Voxx.

He put down each finger one by one and re-lifted it while counting. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. SEVEN!"

"Afternoon tomorrow, I attack in."

Gilligan gulped. Voxx suggested "Weapons your best. Prepare yourselves with. Now you I show mine."

Gilligan came over. Voxx pulled out what seemed to be a yellow box attached to an 11 inch bright green tube. "Ma-ma pistol."

By now Gilligan was standing next to Voxx. "A mama pistol? Do you have a dada pistol too?"

"Weapon deadly. Chimpanzee see you."

"Wait! Gladys my friend!"

"Okay. Hope tree friend not."

Voxx's gun made a noise that sounded like a loud "MA" then a softer "MA."

A dead tree 60 feet away took the shot. It fell down away from them leaving a tall jagged stump.

"A ma-ma gun." Gilligan said.

Voxx said ""Seconds five-recharge atomic."

A moment later Voxx added "And close up-tentacles four very strong."

"How strong?"

One of Voxx's tentacles seized a boulder that seemed to be about 20 pounds (about 9 kilos) and threw it in a nearby creek.

Gilligan ducked but the splash was nowhere near.

"Feature additional have pistol."

"What feature that?"

"Setting stun of. Only use targets blast one being conquered subjects from."

The ma-ma noise sounded again. Gladys fell. Gilligan ran to her. But soon she got up and hid on the other side of a tree from Voxx.

Gilligan turned to return to the huts. Voxx added "More-one thing."

Gilligan turned back. "A nice day have." Voxx said.

"You're going to attack us and you say to have a nice day?"

"Tomorrow night by, I conquering Overlord Island here. Force and politeness need I with. Rule Island most effect both with. A nice day have."

Confused, Gilligan stammered out "And a nice day to you Middle ranked Private Voxx."


	2. Chapter 2-Sharing the News

Five castaways sat around the clearing. Mr. and Mrs. Howell napped. The Professor, Ginger and Mary Ann listened to the radio. It said "And that was University of Honolulu Professor Kingsley's sociological explanation of why last week's meteor shower led to a rash of UFO sightings. Next up, the Honolulu Symphony Orchestra."

Suddenly Mr. Howell stirred. "I'd like to dictate a memo. Have the toys and art divisions' draw up designs for UFO influenced products. Also, have some creative types draw up designs for a space influenced doormat."

He looked around and felt embarrassed. "Oh."

His wife asked "Are you okay dear?"

"Just having a good dream Lovey. Then I woke up."

"There, there dear."

Meanwhile, Ginger asked "Any truth in what he says?"

The Professor said "Hard to say. Truth is more easily discerned in the hard sciences."

Mary Ann said "I'm glad none of us are seeing UFOs."

The Skipper walked up carrying a load of firewood.

A very excited Gilligan ran into the clearing. "Hey Skipper! Hey Professor! We're going to be attacked tomorrow afternoon! Form a Militia! Make weapons!" Focusing on his words he didn't look in front of him then tried too late to turn away from the Skipper. They collided and both fell down dropping their hats.

"Oof." Said the Skipper. Gilligan put on his hat got up and held his hand out to help the Skipper up. The Skipper got up. Gilligan handed him his Captain's hat and waited. The Skipper hit him with it.

Meanwhile the other five jumped up and looked around.

The Professor asked "Who's going to attack us Gilligan?! Did you see headhunters?"

"No there was a Martian! Or a Rollian! He was this tall" Gilligan began moving his hands emphatically. "He had two legs like this and four tentacles like this and he was orange and blue with stripes like this and had four silver antenna like this and they shook like this when he giggled and he giggled when he said he was going to attack us tomorrow afternoon!" Gilligan stopped moving his hands.

The others all felt really let down at having gotten so excited at this obvious nonsense.

The Skipper asked "Gilligan. Why would he warn us before attacking us?"

"It's a Test. After they first attack Earth they figure seven of us left for every one of them and no advantage of surprise. So he wants to see if he can beat seven of us by himself with us knowing he's coming. If it works they are going to attack the planet and people will die and they are going to be our overlords and they'll be polite and forceful."

"Now Gilligan, why would they be both?"

"He said" (and Gilligan's voice became a cross between his voice and Voxx's voice.) "Rule Island most effect both with. A nice day have."

Mary Ann had to ask. "He told you to have a nice day?"

"No he said 'a nice day have.' He didn't speak English very good."

The Professor explained "Gilligan, the sociologist on the radio was just talking about that. He said people back home are conditioned by the cold war to believe we have enemies. So they see birds or balloons or airplane lights and imagine space visitors. Potential enemies. Now here on the island the communists are unlikely to manifest themselves but we've had problems with nearby headhunters. A parallel phenomena applies."

"But Professor. This parallel phenomena was" Gilligan began to gesture again with his hands "And was… and was... and was… "

Ginger said "I was in a movie with aliens once."

Mary Ann asked "You were Ginger? What were they like?"

Ginger said "They were tall and red. But shiny red not like Indians back home." [The castaways were stranded in 1962. Today Ginger would say 'Native Americans'.] "They captured me and another girl."

"How did you get away?" Asked Mary Ann.

"I didn't. I got vivisected. But the other girl played Major Ace Wiley's love interest. So she got rescued."

Gilligan got interested "That was in Rocket from the Moon. I loved that movie I saw it three times. But why were you blonde?"

Ginger explained "The studio wanted me to try blonde hair."

"You'll have to tell me all about it." Suddenly he remembered "But not till after tomorrow. Tomorrow he's goanna attack."

The Skipper came over. "Well you just had a long fast run. You're tired out."

The Professor pointed out. "In a run like that, the lactate acid produced by your anaerobic system leads to extreme muscle exhaustion. The original marathon runner fell dead after delivering his message."

The Skipper said "You'd better lie down in your hammock till dinner. You've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

Gilligan agreed "Yeah, we've got to fight the alien!"

The Skipper said "So you'd better get your rest."

"But Skipper-"

"No Buts Gilligan. To your hammock and that's an order."

Aware he was tired Gilligan let the skipper walk him to his hammock.

Meanwhile Ginger was telling Mary Ann "The one alien under the costume he was" she made a hand gesture. Mary Ann nodded. "But the other one was enough wolf for both of them. I let him take me to the club and… You think the other girl's escape in the movie was miraculous they should have filmed mine."


	3. Chapter 3-Gilligan Is Psychoanalyzed

Once everyone except Gilligan was back, the Skipper said "My little buddy seeing an alien. Who knew he was under such a strain."

Mr. Howell observed "Now Captain, the poor boy's mind wasn't so sound to begin with."

His wife added "Your dear first mate's mind always seemed a salad fork away from a full place setting."

Mary Ann said 'Still, in all fairness I should say he's the one who we sent with those natives as the White Goddess Gilliana to be thrown into the volcano if he couldn't escape first."

They all nodded. Ginger added "And Kincaid was hunting him a few months ago."

The Skipper thought a moment "And Ugundi wanted to fight him to the death."

The Professor thought and added "To fool the gorilla we disguised him as another gorilla when we were visited by that Tongo feral child impersonator."

Mrs. Howell added "Before that the dear boy was down on himself when he thought he was a headhunter. Then he had to rescue us from those nasty real headhunters."

Mr. Howell said "And it hasn't been too long since we all went missing. And he thought he'd somehow done us all in."

Not needing to go back any farther, they agreed that all of them had been subject to enough intermittent danger to warrant a small mental break, especially Gilligan. The question was, what to do about his problem.

The Professor said "The human mind creates coping mechanisms for a reason. We should wait awhile, let it play out. See if he heals himself on his own by imagining he stopped the invasion or it gets canceled or something. If he gets worse intervention might be necessary. But in the meantime no one should either challenge or encourage his delusion."

They all agreed.


	4. Chapter 4-A Failed Mobilization

Upset no one took the invasion seriously, Gilligan fell asleep for an hour. Then that night, when he should have been sleeping, he was up half the night worrying and trying to think of where any weapons would be. Finally he remembered one and fell asleep.

The next morning Gilligan got up very early and made his own breakfast. Later he was crawling on the ground picking up small stones.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell walked by. Mrs. Howell asked "Why are you gathering those tiny rocks?"

Mr. Howell asked "Are any of them diamonds?"

Gilligan said "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Howell. I'm getting slingshot ammunition to fight the alien. What weapons are you too getting?"

"A Howell enter combat? With the likes of them?"

Mrs. Howell said "My dear boy I checked carefully and none of their kind is in the Social Register. Besides it's such a hot tropical day. You know we always have tea in the afternoon on Wednesdays."

(That wasn't quite true, but Gilligan didn't always keep track of their schedule.)

Soon the Professor walked by carrying some vials. "Hey Professor!" Gilligan asked "Are you going to build an invention to defeat the alien?"

The Professor replied "No Gilligan. I've got to measure the nutrients in the soil so we can make informed crop rotation decisions."

"But tomorrow we could be… conquered."

"That makes it extra important to maintain the food supply. Do you think an alien overlord will go to much effort to keep us well fed?"

"I suppose not."

The Professor nodded and walked away.

Gilligan went to Ginger and Mary Ann's hut and knocked.

They were both in. Ginger said "Hi Gilligan."

He said "Hi Ginger. Hi Mary Ann. Are you girls going to come help fight the alien?"

Mary Ann said "No Gilligan we have to work on lunch and dinner."

Ginger added "And my soap opera is on the radio. I listen and during commercials I act out lines I just heard. I need to keep my acting ability sharp."

Gilligan said 'But we'll get conquered."

Ginger said "Even more important to know how to act. How else could I be in the resistance movement?"

Gilligan said "Right." But he seemed confused.

Even though it made more sense to him not to let the Earth be conquered in the first place with both Ginger and the Professor he had automatically agreed because he was used to other people being smarter/more knowledgeable then him.

Just then the island's most experienced warrior walked over the one Gilligan had complete faith in his ability to steer them through any crisis. Gilligan turned and said "Hey Skipper."

The Skipper asked "Hey Little Buddy. What are you doing?"

Gilligan replied "Getting ready. I found the slingshot that fed-up mother took from her bratty kid who was shooting at seagulls during one of our cruises. She hid it at the bottom of the rope locker." [On the Minnow.] "I'm gathering ammunition. You see that board there?" He pointed to a board he'd set up on a tree stump. Then he fired at it. At a range of about 15 yards he missed high by about four inches. [Metric= at about 14 meters he missed high by about 10 centimeters.] "And I have a staff ready." He picked it up to show then said "Like Robin Hood and Friar Tuck had. I'm not letting those tentacles get near me. What weapons are you making Skipper?"

"Gilligan, I've had a busy week. I think I'll go fishing in the lagoon."

"But I need you to help fight the alien."

"Gilligan I'm old. You can do this without me."

"But you're the skipper!"

"Gilligan, as far as the alien is concerned, you're the skipper. You can find a way to beat him."

Behind his casual nonchalance the Skipper, like the other nonfighting castaways was worried about Gilligan. But they hoped their attitude would allow Gilligan's mind to work out his issue. Leaving Gilligan ignorant of their concern.

Gilligan had been devastated that all seven castaways weren't facing this crisis together as they had so many others. Even when he'd been alone being hunted by Kincaid or put forward as Gilliana the White Goddess (to name two examples) he knew the other castaways were working with him as much as they could.

Still he'd kept on until he knew the Skipper wasn't with him. More than the other castaways, physical danger had been their specialty. Afloat they'd faced hurricanes, ashore they'd faced other dangers side by side as Skipper and First Mate.

And now the Skipper had deserted his "Little Buddy" in an Alien Invasion to go fishing?

The fear of going on alone hit him. He ran to his hut and lay down in his hammock.


	5. Chapter 5-Gilligan's Dream

After lying down in his hammock the stress kicked in. With his sleep schedule all messed up from being up half the night worrying Gilligan fell asleep.

Gilligan was in a dimly lit underground mine. He whistled as he swung his pick again and again. Once he cleared away some dirt he saw a sparkly rock. Was this what he was digging for? Good question. He couldn't remember. So he asked "What are we mining for?"

"Sparkonium" said a nearby voice. Gilligan looked at the miner next to him.

"Thanks Professor." Gilligan looked at his own belt. There was a device labeled "Sparkonium detector." He pointed it at the shiny rock and a green light glowed on the control panel. So he carefully put it in the small red rail car labeled "Sparkonium." A black rail cart labeled "dirt" came up next on the rail line. So he and the Professor started to pile their excess dirt in it.

"Hey Professor."

"Yes Gilligan."

"Why are we mining for Sparkonium? I thought we were shipwrecked."

"Because our alien overlord told us too."

"Our alien overlord?"

"Commissioner Voxx."

"What does he do with it?"

"It gets picked up by a flying saucer. Since their engines appear atomically powered my hypothesis, judging from the chemical composition, is that they use it to power their laser cannons."

"Their laser cannons?" Gilligan gulped.

The Professor nodded. They dug some more. Gilligan said "I never heard of Sparkonium before."

The Professor said "Neither had I. It's not found naturally on Earth. But the Rollians caused a chemical reaction that wiped out all life on half of the island to seed this mine with Sparkonium."

"Nothing lives on this half of the island?"

"Correct." The Professor looked at his watch. "Time to go to lunch."

Gilligan followed the Professor, on foot, up the rail line. The Skipper, Ginger and Mary Ann, also carrying picks and with Sparkonium detectors on their belts, emerged from another tunnel and joined them.

At the commissary they all washed their hands. Mr. Howell took a break from his job of polishing Sparkonium. Mrs. Howell served water and blue pills to everyone, then began fiddling with the radio.

"No real food?" Gilligan asked.

The Skipper explained "Little Buddy we're too busy mining to gather enough. So Voxx gives us bad tasting nutritional pills to keep our strength up."

Gilligan ate one "Ugh. I see what you mean."

Although the pills and water could be ingested quickly, the meal break was allowed to be longer. So they sat.

The radio tuned in. "This year's baseball season has ended. The Minnesota Twins at 42 wins and 18 losses have taken the American League pennant. The Saint Louis Cardinals took the National League flag with 41 wins and 19 losses. A best of five game World Series will begin next week. Our Rollian Overlords have announced that next year's baseball season may be extended to 72 games as a reward for good behavior. But only if we keep on our best behavior."

Gilligan remembered that the baseball season was supposed to be 162 games, he tried to subtract 42 from 162 then another 18. Or should he subtract 41 from 162 then another 19? Confused, he just figured that was a lot of unplayed games.

The announcer continued "In local news, Overlord Joxx will allow the reconstruction of Honolulu, and even use Rollian equipment, as long as the factories stay ahead of their work quotas. Governor Quisling has pledged complete cooperation. Honolulu was the site of humanity's last stand and the destruction of property was particularly severe. Now for some music." A sad Waltz began to play.

"How do we stand this?" Gilligan asked.

The Skipper explained "As conquests go, it could be worse."

Ginger said "I was in a movie once where the Romans conquered a tribe and sold them all into slavery."

Mr. Howell said "I lost most of my holdings. But we're just glad the girls weren't vivisected in scientific experiments."

Gilligan looked at Ginger and Mary Ann. They were dirty and tired but alive. Things could be worse. "Why would anyone want to do that?"

Mary Ann said "I'm not sure."

The Professor said "Come to think of it, it does seem atypically primitive for a science that has mastered interstellar travel."

Ginger pointed out "It usually happens in the movies."

Mrs. Howell said "Yes dear. That's why we're so grateful those silver antenna creatures don't do it in real life."

Commissioner Voxx walked in, wearing a crown over his antennas. "That's why you need to stop this from ever happening."

Gilligan said "But it already happened."

Mr. Howell said "My dear boy, this is the $64,000 question. And you know how precise I am about money."

Gilligan nodded.

Mr. Howell continued "Before you were mining what's the last thing you remember?"

Gilligan thought hard, then finally said "None of you would help me with the alien attacking that afternoon. So I felt scared and lay down in my hammock."

The Professor said "I hypothesize that you are unconscious and in a REM state."

Gilligan said "Not only that-I'm dreaming."

Mary Ann said "We're sorry we don't believe you Gilligan." The others nodded. She continued "But tell me this. Before today did you believe people who said they'd seen aliens?"

Gilligan said "Of course not. Those people are crazy." He smiled and thought and then said "Oh. You all think I'm crazy."

They all nodded. The Skipper said "Sorry about that Little Buddy." They all nodded again.

Voxx said "Are you worrying about my weapons?"

Gilligan said "Ma-ma gun."

The Skipper said "I was scared too, the first time I was in a war. I never talk about the fear. But you've heard enough stories, you've picked up on one hidden truth. The truth that we were losing that war."

Gilligan nodded.

The Skipper continued. "We fought on. Japan ruled the waves. In the Atlantic Nazi U-Boats were strangling the supply lines, cutting us off from Europe. We built more ships and fought on. We held them to a draw at Coral Sea, we won at Midway and we kept fighting. It was a very steep climb, but we won."

Gilligan nodded.

The Skipper said "Did I ever tell you I was serving on the Battleship Oklahoma at Pearl Harbor when we got hit on December 7th. I can easily name more than 50 shipmates who didn't make it."

Gilligan said "Once you told me about it. You got real moody all day. But just once."

Mary Ann said "This is important Gilligan. What happens when the Skipper mentions the Oklahoma?"

Gilligan thought hard. "Funny thing. Every time he mentions it I do something wrong. Like I drop what I'm carrying, usually on his foot, or I tie the wrong knot or say something stupid or make a mistake in what I'm building." Gilligan began to see a pattern.

The Skipper said "Then I yell and hit you with my hat and forget about the guys who didn't make it. I don't get moody at all."

Gilligan nodded.

The Professor said "Evidence indicates that your personality is more functional than you know."

The Skipper said "Little Buddy. You need to know you can do this. Even if you're scared."

Gilligan said "But I'm really scared?"

The Professor said "Gilligan. What's a normal, healthy way for an individual in your situation to feel?"

"Really scared?" He suggested. The Professor nodded.

He took a deep breath and got ready to wake up. Then he stopped "Just one thing. Professor if this is a dream and it's all in my head why are you using big words correctly?"

The Professor said "If I was using this terminology incorrectly would your knowledge of lexicography be sufficient to note any discrepancies?"

Despite the words he didn't understand Gilligan could tell what the Professor meant from the structure of the sentence so he said "No."

"And there you have it."

Gilligan woke up. He checked his staff, the slingshot and the supply his stones in his pocket. It was a comfort to remember his Navy training, he straightened his shoulders and marched into the jungle.


	6. Chapter 6-Voxx's Dream

In his vehicle on the side of the volcano, Private Voxx rested before he invaded the castaway's settlement. Eventually the dreams came, Rollian style, Voxx knowing it was a dream.

First Voxx dreamed of last week's activities buzzing around in the assigned craft, traveling to and from the mothership, looking for an isolated group of seven humans.

Then Voxx dreamed of the war being over and serving as overlord of the island, being forceful and polite.

The Island's seven humans were working eleven hour days in a mine gathering strategic materials for the Rollian Empire.

When they came out Voxx checked the minerals they mined and said "Very Well. Rest days two, then mining days five."

The humans spent their rest days repairing the huts and gathering their own food so they could rely less on the unpleasantly tasting blue pills Voxx got for them. Voxx spent the rest days watching the humans although Voxx felt secure. If anything happened to Voxx an alarm would sound in the mothership and more Rollians would come and... It wouldn't be pretty.

Gilligan came over. "Hey Commissioner Voxx, don't you ever get time off?"

Voxx said "Not really. I must keep tabs you humans on."

"Well how much longer is your enlistment?"

"Double that I've served already. I've been here needed. I hope rotate home soon to."

A telepathic briefing arrived from the Mothership. As always it was too loud. Two of Voxx's tentacles went up to protect ears not that it did any good with the signal being transmitted into the brain.

"SOLDIERS OF THE GLORIOUS ROLLIAN EMPIRE! THE SECOND AND FIFTH LEGIONS HAVE ATTACKED THE POLARIS SYSTEM! SETBACKS HAVE OCCURRED! REINFORCEMENTS ARE NEEDED! AS EARTH IS PACIFIED THE FIRST THROUGH SEVENTH BRIGADES WILL GRAB YOUR PACKS AND SHIP OUT! HARD TRAINING WILL OCCUR ON THE SHIP TO LEARN TO OVERCOME THE POLARIS NATIVES TRICKS! THE ROLLIANS ARE CONQUERS NOW SO LOGICALLY WE MUST CONQUER!"

As Voxx went to pack Gilligan turned to his big friend, what did the briefings call him, ah yes, 'The Skipper.' Gilligan said "Commissioner Voxx has to ship out. Maybe you can say something to him."

The larger human came over. "I was a lifer in my country's navy. Served 26 years and two wars."

Voxx said "I was term one only. Money schooling for. Plans" Voxx stopped. But the Skipper looked interested according to the briefing on human expressions. Voxx continued "Plans advanced schooling for, work Gargun factory in, buy Gargun shop own of."

The Skipper nodded. "When I retired I bought my own boat, ran my own business. Then we got shipwrecked here."

Voxx nodded. Suddenly all seven humans stood in a line and started giggling at Voxx, using their human throats. Voxx said "What now joke?"

The Skipper said "You know you're dreaming and the test hasn't happened yet. You can still avoid a life of conquest and go home and live in peace. All you have to do is throw the fight."

Voxx complained "Giggling throat with. Weird so."

One of the other humans, 'Mr. Howell' said "It seems poor manners to weird out a guest."

His pair bonded mate, 'Mrs. Howell' said "We'll have to giggle politely."

All seven humans instantly shut up. Improbably, they also grew four silver antenna each. They began giggling Rollian style, shaking their antennas.

The one who'd worked in mass entertainment/communications, 'Ginger Grant' said "I was in a movie once where the surviving aliens left Earth and lived happily ever after."

Voxx said "That movie designation 'Rocket The Moon From.' We studied it Earth culture class in. But wasn't your hair yellow that film in?"

Ginger said "The studio wanted me to try a blond wig."

The other human female, 'Mary Ann' said "By the way, thanks for not vivisecting me and Ginger like you would in the movie."

Voxx nodded, confused as to why the human movie makers would think Rollian science would learn most efficiently from vivisecting young adult human females. Just what kind of scientific input did the movie industry have anyway?

Then Voxx woke up, knowing the only way to save the Rollians from a life of warfare and overlording over other life forms was to find a way to lose the fight.


	7. Chapter 7-The Fight

Gilligan was waiting in the jungle between the huts and where he'd seen the alien yesterday. Eventually he saw small animals fleeing. He ducked behind a tree. Then he saw Voxx on the crest of the hill walking towards him.

Gilligan's pockets were full of small stones. He jumped up and used his slingshot. He missed Voxx just to the right. The stone crashed into a nearby beehive. (Gilligan was firing uphill). Voxx drew the Ma-ma pistol. Gilligan fired again and missed high. The stone bounced off a tree and collided with the same beehive. Voxx looked around trying to spot Gilligan. Gilligan finally connected, a stone hitting Voxx in the midsection. Voxx spotted Gilligan reloading again. Voxx aimed.

Voxx said. "Earthlings easy much too." Just then a bee stung his backside. "Merrf!" He called out. Another stung him and another. He fell forward. Not getting up, he speed crawled in an alien fashion with his legs and tentacles.

As he passed Gilligan the human jumped up pointing his staff. As Gilligan was about to swing it a bee stung his bottom. "Ow!" Gilligan said jumping up. Another bee stung him. As he heard more and more angry buzzing he dropped the staff, dived into a crouching position and began high speed crawling alongside Voxx.

After a quick retreating charge they both stopped, gasping for breath. They noticed the buzzing had largely subsided. Voxx turned to the right and Gilligan to the left. Simultaneously they noticed each other at a few yards [or meters] range and stared for a second.

Gilligan gripped with his right hand and stood up then noticed the staff was not in his right. He gripped with his left and lifted it only to find it too was empty.

Voxx aimed the Ma-ma pistol. Gilligan gulped. Voxx could have just fired but had been trained to aim carefully. As the Middle Ranked Private aimed carefully the Private's center of gravity changed. The Private looked down and noticed Rollian legs sinking in quicksand. The legs began to flail soon joined by the tentacles. Voxx forgot to grip the pistol so it went flying. Voxx pulled clear of the quicksand. Then stared down the barrel of the Ma-Ma pistol aimed by Gilligan.

As they stared at each other, both looked up as suddenly a metal low flying vessel passed them. Another Rollian's head was sticking out of the craft. Then a tentacle appeared. The tentacle held a green barreled gun. The "Ma-ma" noise sounded. Gilligan fell down, dropping the Ma-ma pistol he was holding.

As Gilligan recovered from being stunned the new Rollian hovered near him and spoke. "Question your mind in. Weren't Rollians to fight army of one with?"

"Yes." Said Gilligan.

"Till test over-army of one use in. Test ended Earth do not invade list on. Situation now, need my sister back her gun with."

Gilligan was relieved that Earth was not to be invaded. He saw Voxx picking up her gun. Gilligan said "Your sister?"

The new Rollian flew off. Voxx began to walk off. Suddenly she turned. "Gilligan mate first."

"Yes Voxx Middle Ranking Private."

"A nice day have."

"And a nice day to you."

Gilligan stood up. He did not follow Voxx. Instead he walked to the top of a small rise then sat feeling relieved and watching. He said to no one in particular "I should have known she was a girl. I thought her antennas were cute."

After he saw Voxx's vessel fly off he went back to the Minnow.


	8. Chapter 8-Epilgue

In the beached S. S. Minnow Gilligan replaced the slingshot where he'd found it earlier. Near the boat he emptied his pockets stacking the small stones in a pile.

He heard a voice "Gilligan."

He said "Hi Skipper. I stopped the invasion of Earth."

"Nice Gilligan. I caught one large and three small fish." He held them up. Gilligan licked his lips.

Dinner was roast fish and vegetables with fruit for dessert. Gilligan told the story of the fight. He knew they didn't believe him but he was hyped up on adrenaline.

Everyone listed indulgently. The Professor focused on a side issue. "They could fly in space and couldn't learn that it's incorrect grammar to end sentences with prepositions?"

"Prepositions?" Gilligan asked.

"Words like in, of, under, from, with."

"Oh yeah. My English teacher Mrs. Howe taught me about that. Those are words you must never end a sentence with."

The Professor opened his mouth and paused. How much could he expect out of Gilligan? Then he just said "Correct."

After dinner the castaways sat around talking. Mary Ann turned on the radio. No one objected to the soft music that filled the background.

The amount of food stocks were discussed. Gilligan got up and went to check the supply hut. Suddenly the music was replaced by a weird unhuman like voice "Note strategists for comma humans fought six resting reserve in comma most agile member front in wearing middle ranked private down." After a brief pause the voice continued "Sorry English translation mode still in." An inhuman squawking replaced the English words.

All six of them stood frozen and listening intently. But all they heard now was soft music.

Gilligan came back. "I checked the supplies."

The Skipper said "Gilligan did you really fight an alien?"

"Yeah she was" he began moving his hands "and was… and was… and spoke English with incorrect grammar."

"Little Buddy did you get any souvenirs from the alien."

"No she took her Ma-ma pistol with her."

The Professor asked "Did they leave any evidence of their visitation?"

"Just the tree they shot."

"Could you locate it?"

"Sure Professor. It looks exactly like it was struck by lightning."

Mr. Howell reached for his wallet, then remembered Gilligan couldn't spend it till they were rescued. His hand started to reach for it again, then he asked himself how much you tip a first mate for stopping the invasion of the Earth? He wasn't sure of the correct amount.

Finally Mary Ann though stunned said "Would you like to pick tomorrow's dessert Gilligan?"

Gilligan said "Thanks Mary Ann. Can you cook one of your coconut cream pies?" When she nodded wordlessly he said "Thanks."

Gilligan was back to normal but everyone else walked around in shock.

Everyone eventually went to bed except the Skipper and the Professor. The Skipper seemed bothered. The Professor asked "Something on your mind Skipper?"

He replied slowly "I haven't thought about it in years but I remember now. I was on the Browley, a Destroyer Escort. Near the end of World War Two we got caught in a hurricane. We were busy not sinking and at one point we saw some green and white lights over the horizon." He paused before continuing. "We told ourselves it was a low flying experimental plane. Flying in the middle of a hurricane? Ours or the Japs. Or maybe our allies the Australians, or the Soviets, or somebody. Ensign Keefer tried to make an entry in the log. Our Skipper asked him if he was sure, then talked to him about meteor showers, the Northern lights and rainbows. By the time he finished, the poor Ensign was too confused to log anything."

For three months Gilligan did a lot of very Gilligan-like things and they gradually returned to their old opinion of him.

The end.


End file.
